Plain and exposed

Did Jesus have the choice whether he would die or not in the hands of those dear to his heart? Perhaps, he has this struggle whether to obey or not the Father who wants to offer him as a ransom for the sins of the humanity. He said, “Lord if possible; let this cup pass by me.” Likewise he somehow later agreed, “Not my will Lord, but Thy will be done!”

The Father too understands the struggle of Jesus. The former may have somehow said, “You know Son, it is hard for me too to offer you to die on the cross that the sins of the humanity may be forgiven, but I have no choice. Being my only Son, who is all I have, it is conceived ever since the beginning that I would give you, my only begotten Son, to the world to die on the cross and that you are compelled to follow me or to do what destiny has been carved in your palm.

Somehow, Jesus in his nearing death said, “Lord, Lord, why have you forsaken me?” Aside from the reality that the Father was in grief holding to Himself his emotions for His heart might break any moment then, He was still in pain to see the Son saying these words. Imagine, from the lips of his only begotten Son, that it seems with the suffering of Christ, walls of heaven are falling; even the gates of hell are smashed broken. The walls of heaven in sympathy to the sentiment of Jesus, and the gates of hell destroyed overcoming deceit because Satan has lost in the fight, as he has not succeeded tempting Jesus.

Jesus was like Isaac submissive to his Father when Abraham in obedience to God was compelled to offer Isaac to die while somehow bounded to be burned in the firewood as an offering to God. Though it was painful for Abraham to offer his only son to die on fire, he has no choice but to obey the Master who freed him from the worship of idols and brought him in the wilderness to journey that from that expedition, he may be a father to the children counted as many as the stars in heaven.

Though this promise was at stake because his only son is bound to die on the fire, Abraham was impelled to follow and it is an obligation for him not to say “no” because he being freed from the worship of idols is now a child of God, he being lucky to hear the voice of God in the wilderness calling his name after a rush of waters that drifted him along. Imagine there is abundance of water in the desert?

Likewise, though Isaac on the other hand was silent and was obedient to his father Abraham, thoughts maybe were cropping in his mind how come that there are firewood yet there is no offering. He even asked his father, “Father, where is our offering?” And Abraham may have said, that the Lord will provide. Isaac was like Jesus silent before the nearing death meaning he was tranquil and composed while preparing his heart to obey his father’s will. Thus, Isaac was submissive to Abraham who began to tie his hands with a rope and was about to lit the firewood with fire after that he may have stabbed Isaac with a dagger.

Nevertheless, an angel manifested stopping the occurrence and providing a sheep caught in the branches as an offering, telling Abraham that God perceived the purity of his heart in his participation in the work of God. This brought Abraham a reward that in his role in conceiving the destiny of the Christ to die on the cross, Abraham became a father of many nations springing out from him descendants from both children, Isaac and Ishmael.

Though the descendants of Abraham whom God promised were to emerge from Isaac, his brother Ishmael also received God’s favor hearing his cry while yet a child and it is through Ishmael that God make an also great nation composed of our Muslim brothers.

Accordingly, if you would permit me I’ll convey that on the start of my journey as I was drawing myself farther deep in the waters of Boracay somehow with the thought that my life was useless and that it has met its destiny having preached to the monks and that I forgot that I still have my family, relatives and friends that love me, I’ve already decided that I would kill myself and end my life like Isaac being offered by Abraham and Jesus being offered by the Father in heaven both bound to die.

The waters were already deep that my feet won’t touch the sand in the bottom as I began sinking and then surging up again, and to think that I don’t know how to swim except for paddling like a dog. As my face looked up in heaven, I was overwhelmed with the vision. In place of stars were the neon lights colored yellow forming the faces of different saints. I could identify St. Therese and St. Francis. As I was focused in the vision, a thought came into my mind with me saying to myself, “Maybe I still have a role to play on this earth and a mission to fulfill.”

As a result, I faced the shore and to my surprise, I was already so far from the shoreline. That realization troubled me much that I began shouting at the top of my voice in Tagalog, “Saklolo, nalulunod ako! Tulong!” meaning, “Help I’m drowning! Somebody rescue me!” Then as if in movies, lights were unsealed in the shore spreading its luster of brightness, and the motorboats as if in magic, which excited me though I began to panic, draw fast to me, which many of them on board were fishermen or other residents of Boracay.

One among them was fast to rescue me as he began swimming towards, and as somehow in a bit we collided though gently, and I said to him, “You are the Jesus in my life! Then he said, “Don’t struggle further, and just allow me to hold your neck and I will draw you to the boat.” As I reached the shore, I was as if in triumph that I began dancing chanting and singing, “Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, I love you Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ!”

Then my mind was blocked, and I already know not what I’m doing as I shoved off my new white short pants and jostled my new white t-shirt both with the imprints of Boracay which I’ve bought from asking alms while saying, “Peace be with you! We arrived via Philippine Airlines to Kalibo, and we’re going back to Tagaytay immediately tomorrow. We’re from Franciscan Conventuals and we’re here to bid you peace, any amount please?”

I found myself sitting in the bar counter of the immediate restaurant plain and exposed saying, “You have fooled Christ two thousand years ago, now you can never fool him anymore.” That was already December of year 1991. Then they gave to me my white long pants with the cloth like that of which are used in aprons which I’ve placed in the mount of rocks and the pants were already dusty unlike my short that is new, which I have just newly bought. I can’t already remember well if I have worn a dusty white polo. And you know what happened? They grabbed each to them my new white t-shirt and new white short pants with imprints of Boracay owning these to them.

Likewise in the scriptures, they also cast lots for who would obtain the robe of Jesus. Though I’m so thankful that they have saved me from being drowned, I feel sad that they retrieved my new Boracay t-shirt and short pants which I have bought out of the pennies that I have begged from them. However, I’m grateful to those who gave me alms for they sustained me in the time of my need. And moreover, to the residents of Boracay who had been so generous of their resources, a million thanks buddies! I’m exceedingly glad of your hospitality.

 Here I pause again for a prayer.